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There
is no more important email you will write than your own personal ad. Often
you will only have one opportunity to make a favorable impression, as you
try to compete with a multitude of other searching, sometimes more
experienced Doms. What i am going to do for you is give you the
perspective of one submissive woman, in the hope that what you learn will
be useful in your own journey.
Keep in mind that women will be flooded with literally 100’s of
responses just on the fact that she is female. At least this is the
experience i’ve had. And that was without a picture posted with my ad.
So, after days of reading the same ol’ cliches and boasts it’s always
refreshing for a searching girl to receive a
response that is smart and attractive. This may take months or even
years to perfect, even for the most talented writer. Keep reviewing and
"tuning" your ad, so that it reflects the creative and
intelligent man that you are!
Be brief as you describe yourself. Resumes are fine for vanilla jobs,
but what a Dom needs to convey to a sub is what HE can do for HER. This
isn’t as strange as it sounds. Your mission is making her submissive
fantasies come true; guiding her with a firm, loving hand; making her feel
secure and loved, owned and respected.
DOS:
Do include a small picture of yourself in your reply. You will be
competing with literally hundreds of other men, so a picture will give
you an edge. Appear confident and friendly…don’t overdo the Dom look!
Do flatter her with courtesy and compliments. Be a gentleman first!
There is plenty of time for the sadistic side to come out later. In fact,
most subs will be dying to uncover that "other" side that they
are searching for you in you.
Do present a well groomed appearance, if you are looking for the same.
Do ask what she is looking for in a Dom or Master. This is okay to do
after the first email. Just be careful not to ask "what do you think
makes a good Dom?", cuz you already know this!
Do be positive and upbeat in your correspondence. Submissive women HATE
whiny men! Talk about what you are looking for, not what you aren’t
looking for. If you have negative thoughts on people online or in the
lifestyle, reserve them for later.
Do be very specific about what you want AFTER the 2nd or 3rd
message. Any prospective girl needs to know what her Doms’ expectations
are, but include ONLY those things that are "non –negotiable".
For example, Master let me know after the 3rd email that anal
training would be a big part of my service to him.
One creative way to go about this is to send her a story. It doesn’t
have to be one you wrote yourself…just one that details the
"perfect" scene for you.
Do peruse the personal ads daily. Don’t feel ashamed to respond to
multiple ads, or even to correspond with multiple subs, (that is, until
you start getting serious. Don’t worry if she is the right making a
choice won’t be difficult!)
Do trust your instincts. If you sense that you are being ignored, MOVE
ON! Someone that is truly interested in you will be anxious to correspond.
Do be honest. Lies will be discovered eventually, and will seriously
jeopardize your budding relationship. You don’t need to reveal all of
your skeletons in the first email, but all the "Biggies"
(previous infidelities, STDs or legal trouble) should be discussed before
that first meeting! As with Master and i, your fears may
be
unfounded ones.
Do use spell check! You will not impress anyone with emails full of
grade school grammar.
Do be patient and persistent! All you need is to find one girl out
there to be yours. And never forget that she needs you as much as you need
her.
DON’TS:
Don’t be pompous or arrogant in your manner. Look up both in the
dictionary if you're not sure what they mean!
Don’t ever, ever lie..especially about yourself or your past. You are
a Dominant worthy of resepct, even for your human failings. A professional
con artist will dupe any woman who is looking for a "perfect"
human being instead. In order to gain the trust, your life must be an open
book…bad chapters and all.
Don’t use terms like "No BBW" or "Height-Weight
proportionate" in specifying what you want. If this issue is
important to you, simply ask for her picture and decide for yourself. Most
females are FAR more critical of their bodies than you will ever be, so
your idea of "BBW" may be a lot "heavier" than
hers! Master and i have wondered what would have happened if he had
specified HWP in his emails to me. The chances are good that we might not
have even met! * Shudder! *
Don’t try to force a first meeting. This will tell her more about you
than almost any other action. Just let her know that you are ready to meet
her (and meet without play the first time) when she is ready.
Don’t try to be her Dom before its time. You are a Dominant man true
enough, and its important to carry yourself as such…but you are not HER
Dominant man…yet!
Don’t be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t work out. Many
promising email exchanges can lead to a dead end, and you won’t have a
clue as to why. Just reconcile the fact that it wasn’t meant to be and
move on. Besides…you don’t want to settle for anything less than the
right one, right???
Don’t let terms like "wannabe" make you think less of
yourself. Experience tells only a small part of the story.
Believe it or not, there are women out there who don’t want someone who
has years of experience. Trust me, i was one of them J
Fact is, Master and i have met new Doms who were 10 times more
admirable and attractive than many "veterans" Remember…better
to be a "wannabe" than a "Think I am!"
Don’t get mixed up with girls who use Mentors to "screen" for them. This will only become a problem for you both down the road.
Besides, would you really be interested in a woman who can’t make any
decisions for herself?
And finally, don’t just look for the right girl, try BEING the right
man! That means Learning your craft. Go to munches or SM events, observe,
read, and ask questions! Develop trust with others in the scene who can
SHOW you what you can’t learn online or in books. Nothing is more
ridiculous or dangerous than a someone who tries to "fake it". Also,
take care of yourself and you body…specially if you are going to expect
the same from your girl!
i do hope this article has helped some of you. Personal ads can be very
frustrating and tiresome at times. But unfortunately they seem to be the
best way to find a partner in this community. And heck, it beats trying to
convert a "vanilla" partner. Pretty much an impossible task J
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