If you managed to find Slave Next Door online, then you are probably already aware of the community of leather people that exist word wide. This "secret" society once thrived mainly in large cities, in underground clubs and members-only dungeons. In the 90s, the demographics changed overnight with the birth of the Internet, where people not only spread the word about a new wave of S&M support groups, but created chat rooms and email groups, becoming its own kind of underground electronic society.

   It’s now easier than ever to become part of the SM community. In fact, it really doesn’t matter whether you are an experienced "real time" player, or a seasoned SM smut surfer…you are already a part of this growing company.

   But perhaps none of this interests you…maybe you consider yourself a private person….you might even ask, "why bother?" to join this kind of an association. Yet, I would like to share with you several reasons to consider it, my friend…

Politics and Power

   It is easy to underestimate the power of leather people when they band together to protect their rights. The Gay community doesn’t underestimate it…during the height of the AIDS crisis, necessity demanded that Gays and Lesbians form political advocacy groups. Today, there are new laws on the books to protect Gay rights, and a supportive electorate is putting Gay politicians and judges in office. And while the campaign for acceptance continues, the battles that have been won are already yielding a dividend of political influence. Many of us in the "straight" SM community are fortunate to have made friends in the Gay leather community, having come to rely on them for moral support and practical advice on how to improve our lot in life. I recently met a distinguished Gay Leatherman in Chicago who told me that "straight S&Mers are where the gay community was thirty years ago"…meaning that we are ourselves often misunderstood, and easy targets for fanatical religious groups and politicians with agendas of "moral purity" and "family values". It has also been said that the very success of the Gay community in defending themselves has caused the "moral crusaders" to shift focus onto us kinky folk. This is a compelling argument, and enough to give us all pause to consider our political vulnerabilities.

   If you have been involved with the S&M community for awhile, you are familiar with the Anti-censorship "Blue Ribbon" campaign of the late 90s…you may have heard of court battles fought by the San Diego Six, the dungeon raid on Pattleboro, or even the recent troubles experienced by participants at TES30 in New Jersey. If you are a divorced parent, or married to an unsympathetic spouse, you also understand vulnerability. You’ll understand it even more when someone exposes your "unnatural proclivities" in court, and uses your kink to claim you unfit to see your children anymore.

   Before I met embre, much of my kink was online. Like yourselves, I looked at pictures, read stories, and chatted with others of my ilk. When a real time relationship wasn’t a possibility, the Internet was there to meet my needs. If lawmakers in Washington ever manage to "purify" the web, my heart will go out to each and every pervert…returning to the tiny little B&D section of the local smut store...gazing at ten dollar, plastic sealed mags while trying to guess the contents! Brrrr….

   S&M groups are for people like YOU, who are fed up with such vulnerabilities, and are ready to influence the system. Its for people that believe in who they are, love what they do, and are willing to fight for their rights.

Knowledge is good!

   Participating in an S&M group is not only important to protect your rights...It’s one of the best ways to learn more about "The Art". As a "wannabe Dom" (with no shame in admitting such), I had read much of what I knew about S&M. I had little credibility without practical experience, and could have even been a danger to others. It wasn’t until I had met experienced "Tops" face to face, and seen my first flogging demo, that I started to climb the learning curve. S&M is by its nature a hazardous pleasure. The difference between pleasing pain and permanent injury can be a matter of inches. The nature of this lifestyle DEMANDS an emphasis on continuing education, and attention to safety. This is true whether you are a beginner or an expert…. And remember that everyone has something to contribute, regardless of experience.

That special someone…

   B/D, D/s, S&M…whatever the acronym, whatever your fancy…. They are only practical between two people! And if you happen to be one half of the equation looking for the other, you know how difficult it is finding your match. Not only is it necessary that you find a partner with a common kink, but any hope for a long-term relationship depends on how compatible you are outside of BDSM. (Before I had found embre online, I had searched for a year and a half continuously. Sometimes I think finding a needle in a haystack would have been easier!) You can try Contact magazines, but these work best if you are interested in joining a "triad", or ready to top a transsexual. A single man has NO chance of joining a Swingers group alone, and in most cases they don’t understand S&M anyway (it’s considered "perverted" by many!)

   An S&M "Munch Group" (Meeting+lunch) offers you an opportunity to meet potential "play" partners, provided you adhere to some very simple rules of etiquette. Want to know more? You can satisfy your curiosity at the BDSM Resources section if this website.

BDSM People

   Whether or not you choose to become involved in the BDSM Lifestyle, remember that it’s less about smut pictures than it is about people, and the way they live out their fantasies with other people. And when you look past the hype, the models, and the fantasy torture sites you’ll find its about human beings, who are ultimately nothing more than human-- with all of our desires, vulnerabilities and gift of special sexuality. Not much different from you, really.

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